Holy crap, are you one cute baby or what? I'll be doing a little backtracking to fill you in on your birth story and the lead up to now, but man, do we ever delight in you. As Dad says, your smiles are like crack and you give them out all the time! You're just pure joy, sweetheart.
This is what I get to wake up to every morning.
This is just how you wake up. All the time! You're about as happy as can be and it absolutely slays me.
You can also see the tail of your scorpion that you sleep with. You were having trouble falling asleep and liked to hold my finger while you were drifting off, so I tried to find a lovey for you that you could hold onto like my finger. So I found a stingray and a scorpion and you grabbed onto the goofy scorpion (he's kind of cute, really) and hung on for dear life. It kills me the way you clutch his tail and his claw and wriggle around until you fall asleep.
Yesterday we had to take you to the doctor. By the time you're reading this you'll probably have outgrown everything or have had surgery, but at this point in life, you breathe really funny. It's almost like you have something deep in your throat. It makes me want to clear MY throat. It's worse on the inhale, worse right after you eat and best when you're in a deep sleep. Pretty much everyone that holds you is like, "Is she sick?" Nope, that's just how you breathe.
When you were first born, it was bad. Really bad. You would pull for air so hard and top breathing for ten seconds at a time and you would have the episodes where you would breathe fast and erratic and you could see your stomach and neck muscles retracting. I never knew what to do...it was so scary.
I took you to the doctors in our practice several times, and each one of them said..."She's a baby, they make a lot of noise when they breathe. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine." Finally, I got so sick of it (because you would make noise when I would bring you in, but you wouldn't have a really bad episode in the doctors office.) that your Nana got us an appt with an ENT and we took you yesterday to get scoped.
That sucked. They had to put numbing stuff in your little nose and slide a scope up through your nose and down through your sinuses to see your vocal cords. And we were right! You have something called laryngomalacia, floppy tissue over your vocal cords that can be a hindrance when you breathe. It sounds like some cases are really severe to the point where babies can't eat, so we're lucky that yours is such a mild case. However, we have to make sure it gets better as you grow. If it gets worse, they have to scope you again (I CANNOT even explain how pissed you were. Red as a tomato) and possible put you all the way under. I'm really praying and hoping that we can avoid all of that and that you just grow out of it on your own which is very likely.
But after the procedure, you were very upset for the rest of the day and just wanted to sleep on me. So we cuddled bunches and I will take that any day.
I've got to go to bed now. I'm falling asleep while typing. You got up at 5:30 (eat and then sleep until 7:30/8) but my brain wouldn't shut up once I was awake so I had to get up and do stuff. Now I can barely keep my eyes open.
I love you so much sweetheart!!!
Love,
Momma
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